My life seemed normal until...

My life seemed normal until my wife told me she wanted a divorce. We had been together for almost eleven years, but the last few were very stressful. It took a little over a month to finalize the divorce. During that time I slept in another room of our home. I stayed out late. I went to bars. I smoked marijuana; all of this to ease a pain I didn’t know was brewing inside of me. About three months after the divorce was final the depression of losing my wife really hit hard. I began to spiral out of control and it started taking its toll on my mind, body, and my work. I was partying every weekend. I was spending so much money – money that I could have used to buy a house, a car, and pay for college. I had worked very hard at a Fortune 500 company to climb the corporate ladder. I was promoted from a phone rep to upper management in a very short time; I doubled my salary within nine months. I used that salary to destroy my life. Adding insult to injury, my ex-wife decides to confess, in an email, that she had had an affair. For the next two years I spent most of my time alone, smoking marijuana, drinking, womanizing, and allowing myself to quickly forget about the God of love who saved my life so many years earlier. Finally, I lost my job. I had to ask my Mom if I could come back home and live with her.

I discovered hope and help in Jesus when after a few months of prayer and meditation in his Word, Jesus led me back to where it all began; he led me to the church where I gave him my heart. There he reminded me that he had plans for me, plans to prosper me, and not harm me, plans filled with hope and a future without drinking, drugs, and sexual sin (Jer. 29:11). I felt alive again. I felt full of peace and joy. I mean, up until this point I had sworn off marriage. There was simply no way I was going to go through that heartache again. I had lost so much, but Jesus promised to fill my life with forgiveness and love. But in order to show gratitude for that forgiveness, I had to learn to forgive (Eph 4:32). And so, I forgave my ex-wife for the hurt she caused me; frankly, I caused her just as much hurt. God showed up big time and helped me out of a dark and lonely place and brought me into the light as he is in the light (1 John 1:7). God also introduced me to a woman who would change my heart and mind about love, trust, and marriage.

I am glad I have a personal relationship with Jesus today because without him I would have never received the freedom from deception and fear that told me to never marry again. Without Jesus I would never have become vulnerable enough to allow someone into my life and risk having my heart broken again, thankfully that wasn’t the case. Jesus led me to the most beautiful women I have ever known. She is amazingly trustworthy; I know with all my heart that she would never be unfaithful to me. She is encouraging and forgiving; in fact, she is the epitome of Jesus’ mandate to forgive over and over again (Matt 18:22). And I simply could not have allowed this into my life without my Lord and Savior Jesus leading the way.

Today I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, and I certainly don’t womanize. I have a great deal of respect for women and Jesus has taught me to be honest about my faults in my first marriage. He has taught me how to be balanced in spirit, mind, body, family, and ministry. And let me tell you, I give God glory because in his mercy he did not allow children in my first marriage, but has allowed two beautiful kids in my current and final marriage.

Now, to be clear, I certainly do not have it all together. There are times where I foul up terribly. In those times I have to run to the cross, drop to my knees, and seek the Lord’s forgiveness because I can (Heb. 4:16). I am grateful that Father God is slow to anger and abounding in love (Ps. 103:8). He is full of grace and mercy, and he is teaching me to be like him, and continues to teach me more and more every day. The greatest lesson I have learned is about forgiveness. I forgive because I am forgiven, may I share how something like this can happen to you?